Still TTC'ing - Still trucking!

I am currently CD9 and TTC'ing naturally.
You never know?
I read about couples conceiving natrually after a failed IVF???

Side-note:
We are going to Palm Desert for my mom's bday this Friday- maybe a little hotel time will do the trick:)

Fertility Seminar #2

Tonight we went to another Fertility seminar.
I am even more confused than I was in the first place.
I didn't like how things were presented.
I didn't like the surgery room it was dirty-
Uggggh! Back to square one.
I know what I have to do.... I have to have surgery!

Father's Day- A Sad Day in our House

Today is hard.
Today isn't fun.
We went for a walk at the park- everyone was setting up for Father's Day picnics and walking their dogs.
There was new babies everywhere-
My heart hurts.
Today coud have been great for us... but we will have to wait a little longer, I guess.

We have a consultation with a new clinic on Wednesday.

I have had horrible cramps for the last 2 days:(

Moving on. Hurry up day...let's get through this.

Negative Beta- 2nd IVF Failed :(

Today was the day.

I went in at 7:30AM to get my blood taken.

I left feeling like I had a 10% chance if being pregnant.

This morning my test were white.

Stark White.

The clinic didn't bother calling me to tell me. I had to call them at 4:00PM from work!

The nurse said- Oh no one called you? I am sorry the test was negative. Stop all medications and call the clinic on cycle day 2.

All I could do was say ok. And I hung up.

So here I am.

I feel horrible.

Here is what I am thinking.

Why?

Why is this happening to me?

Why can't I get pregnant?

If our egg was the best it could be- what is the problem?

What should I do next?

OMG to how much money we have spent on 2 failed IVF cycles w. no insurance paying cash.

I wish there was a way to make this pain go away.

Oh another thought- Happy Father's Day~

FML.

I am fucking devestated.

And the Faint Line Continues.....

I have taken so many tests it isn't even funny.
I honestly think I have spend about $100 on tests this week.

I am using First Response tests.... and getting a super light pink 2nd line.

Tomorrow is my Beta at 7:30 AM!

I am praying that it is sooo early that is why its so light????

My period is due tomorrow....


Today I reached an all time low.
I went to Wal-Mart at lunch bought another 5 tests and pee'd in the bathroom at work and did a test! AT WORK! Who does that!?!??!?!
Me.

My co-worker that knows what I have been going through came to see if she could see my faint line and with a little bit of moving the test around- she saw it too!



Please Please Please little line get darker tomorrow morning so I can be confident going into BETA.... cause right now. I am not.


I will update tomorrow w. good new hopefully!

Could it be??????? BFP?????

Last night, we took a late night trip to Walmart. I wanted to pick up a couple First Response tests to mix in with my Dollar Tree tests.

So, of course, this morning I used BOTH tests- the Dollar Tree and the First Response tests....

I got Faint - Squinty BFP's on BOTH!!!

Both tests were so faint I am not POSITIVE yet.

But just for the record, today is 6dp5dt!

After lunch I took the same (2) tests again- same result! I was hoping to see a litte bit of a darker line--

Tomorrow?????

I am so excited.

It is amazing what seeing a little faint pink line will do to your heart! Last cycle we did not see ANYTHING on any test- NOTHING- So I am praying this is a GOOD sign!

My boobs are soooo heavy and full. I don't feel tired at all- Really no other symtom at all-

Praying. Praying. Praying.

Hope.

Biggest lie told by an IVF-er's...I don't test before BETA!!!!!

Since I started my TTC journey, my life has involved stalking my own body.

Charting, temping, ovulation kit testing- you name it! Every symptom was a possible pregnancy sign!

Now that I am in the middle of my 2nd IVF cycle, it makes me laugh when I read that women pretend they don't test before BETA. Give me a break!!!!!

We all post obsessively- documenting each DAY PAST TRANSFER.... and you are telling me that you don't want to know the exact day you tested positive???

Funny how there are a TON of answers every time someone asks this question.....

" I tested BFN 5dp5dt... do I still have a chance?"

Anyways, I call bullshit.

You all test. Don't lie.

We are all hear praying for 2 lines- so knock it off with your fake will power to POAS. 

Sorry, just had to vent.

3dp5dt - Nothing New- BOOOOO!

I have nothing to update except for the fact I took a pregnancy test in the morning and the evening!

Stark white- Negative.

I was hoping to be one of those girls that say- yes- It just showed up really early- maybe it TWINS?

Give me a break.

I felt some left-side cramping and my boobs still hurt.

Other than that nothing.

I am officially freaking out.

I know I need to wait until this weekend! 

This is so hard!

2dp5dt- Time can be so cruel!!!

I am about to go to bed-- bringing an end to my 2dp5dt-
I was feeling great this morning- even a little peppy - then got tired as the day went on-
Now I feel sick- Like I am going to puke...

I know it is too soon to be related to a pregnancy... but yuck. I just want to go to sleep---

Time seems to be standing still.... how many more days must I wait!
I am so not a patient girl! HA!

Ease up a little time!

I will keep the updates coming!

1DP5DT!!!!!

I made it through DAY 1 of my 5 DAY Transfer!!!!!!

And check out my purchase I made today-

I have NOT used one yet- tomorrow I can't promise that I won't! HEHEHHE!

Symtoms:
None so far:)
Maybe a little twinge on my left side???

5 Day TRANSFER of a 5AA Embryo!!!!!!!!!!

It's in!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Our little embryo is in!

OMG!

So I went in today at 1:3PM and everything went soooo well!

They told me that we had a Grade 5AA embryo!

SO excited!

My pregnancy test is scheduled in 9 days!

Here are pics of the embryo and ultrasound!

So far, I have sneezed only once! HAHHAHAHA! 

I will post everything I feel!

Time to go to the Dollar Tree and stock up!

Waiting on Progesterone results!!! Are we transferring today????

I went this morning to have my blood taken for my progesterone test.

Last time they did not run this test.... not sure what my levels should be...but now- I have to wait for them to call me to see if we are doing a transfer today.

It is currently, 12:15 and my transfer is at 1:30 with a check - in time of 1PM!!!

I was feeling so calm and ready now I am stressed and nervous......



Oh well! Positive thoughts!

Tomorrow is my Egg Transfer!!! 5 day Transfer!

Tomorrow is the big day!

I have been praying that we don't receive a phone call that something went wrong- so far so good.

Thank GOD this time, I didn't get a sore throat from the progesterone. I can feel it but not as bad at all!

So- YAY!

Hope today goes soooo fast!

I have a progesterone test at 9:30 then transfer at 1:30PM!

Wish me luck!!!!